Weight Struggle

I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. In addition to what I consider to be very normal teenage insecurities about my height and weight, I was well-aware that I weighed more than my family physician recommended. I participated in my first fad diet in high school and continued with many others throughout college.  I later discovered calorie counting, tried Weight Watchers and more recently toyed with other specialized plans like Paleo and a similar diet created by a family member who is a personal trainer. I’ve maintained both vegan and vegetarian diets for lengthy periods of time and it has become typical for me to lose around 40 lbs. (that is somehow my magical number) and gain it all back, sometimes more slowly than others.

Let me first say that I realize how unhealthy yo-yo dieting is. As a public health practitioner, one of the most difficult things to do is practice what we preach. But I also realize and acknowledge that my wellness journey 1) encompasses more than weight loss and 2) is a life-long endeavor. With that in mind, I try, try, try and try again. My commitment for the remainder of the summer and the year ahead is to continue to work towards sustainable ways to lose and maintain a self-defined healthy weight.

This is what I know:

  • I am an emotional eater. Celebrations – and stress – incite a deep desire to eat more ;-). Some people lose their appetite during stressful situations; mine is enhanced. Over the last year, I have picked up a solid 15+ plus pounds – mostly associated with my new school and work schedule. I am still searching for alternative ways to relieve stress, but in the meantime I am working on taking longer, deeper breathes.
  • My schedule is insane. This is not an excuse – it just is what it is. While I know many full-time working moms and other professionals that have a much busier life than mine, my decisions over this past year have often been sleep or exercise. I have chosen sleep. My goal moving forward is to incorporate more leisure exercise and balance my days better. This has led to me letting go of a great deal of obligations.
  • I have to enjoy working out. I don’t like boot camps or insane style workouts. I love dancing, walking, spinning/cycling and other group fitness activities that I consider fun. The problem is that these activities often require me to drive somewhere or have an alternate plan when the weather is not conducive to being outside. After commuting to and from work, the last thing I often want to do is drive somewhere else. And after a week or so of inclement weather, I have to start all over again with refocusing on a daily commitment to exercise. I get bored with DVDs so that adds to the struggle. My goal is to start small – simply refocus on doing 30 minutes of something, anything, 3-4 days a week.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point J. One of the many things I do appreciate is that I have never given up. Yes, I’ve lost and gained … but I always get back on track. I’ve never said, “This is just the way it is.” I also find great value in actively caring for my whole body, mind and spirit; with that I know that weight loss and maintenance is but one part – an important part nonetheless – but just one part. That’s what Crazy, Sexy Wellness, LLC is all about! Just as avidly as I have tried and tried again to lose weight, I have committed to life-long learning, finding ways to enjoy my loved ones, engaged in ongoing spiritual practices and worked earnestly to maintain my sanity. It’s a juggling act, but I am dedicated to finding what works and sticking to it. Time and time again. Until I perfect it.

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