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[Repost] I came back.

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I love and appreciate the transparency of my friend … she has found and finds ways to say so many things that I have not mustered the courage to say. I love you Meg!

A Fiercer Life

Isn’t there some rule of blogging that you aren’t supposed to post about not posting?  Probably, but I don’t really care.  I took a really long and well needed break from social media.  Here’s my wordy advice to you: If you’re going through some crap and you just can’t seem to bear the seemingly non-stop flood of other people who seem to win at life while you continue to lose, well then TAKE A BREAK in order to get some perspective.  Since last summer, I’ve done a lot of thinking, complaining, crying, pouting, avoiding, and searching.  I’ve gone through all those freaking stages of grief that therapists like me love to talk about.  I actually got to the point where I could finally accept the fact that I lost my pregnancy, that many other people have healthy pregnancies, that lots of people have kids, and that I could actually have a pretty…

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Now&Later

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Now&Later

After all the excitement finally settled, I realized that I just signed up for 3 additional years – at a minimum – of school. While this is a prayer answered and a dream come true, I must also acknowledge that it further delays others dreams. As someone who has worked in the professional world and is now considered a nontraditional student, I know all too well the pleasantries of a salaried position, personal office space and employer-sponsored benefits. I also know what it is like to decide on a vacation destination and book the trip … without delay. But when my thoughts get too far away from me, I gently find my center by reminding myself that there are things that I will gain both now and later.

Through honoring my decision to return to school, I am submitting to an immediate future that allows me to pursue my interest areas and hopefully make significant contributions to my field of study. I am submitting to long-term future opportunities that I believe will fully allow me to use my gifts (see previous post) in arenas that I currently do not have access to. I am also riding on the certainty that my “later” will be better than any “nows” I have experienced.  With that I move forward – another three years. I promise to check in and let you know how things turn out :-). 

Stir Up the Gift

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GiftI have been thinking about gifts a lot lately. Not gifts as in presents that you receive from another, but gifts in the realm of talents, “natural” skills … the things that we do with seemingly no effort at all that others may struggle with. For the first time in my life I am up close and personal with people as they operate fully in their gifts. I am not sure if this is maturity that has set up and those around me are truly honing in on the areas where they excel versus running the rat race of attempting to be like the people around them or if I have removed the cover from the own eyes that have prohibited me from seeing others as they operate in unique areas different from my own. Whatever the cause may be, I am thankful. I am thankful that I can see what it means to be gifted and the freedom that comes with operating within that gift. I am thankful that I am shifting to a space that allows me to see others, not in a measure against my own interests and talents, but in their own creative space of gifted-ness. And perhaps, most importantly, I am thankful that I am finally realizing my own gifts and searching for valuable ways to nurture them. My hope is that I learn to fully resist that urge to compare my gifts to those of others, appreciate those that I have been given and show by gratitude by sharing them with the world.

Writing to Wellness

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WriteToHeal

I’ve been thinking a lot of about writing lately … how much to write, when to write, who am I writing to, who is reading what I am writing, will I ever get paid to write … should I keep writing. And tonight as I sit to write, I am reminded of how therapeutic it is for me to write. It is a healing ritual for me. With that acknowledgement comes fear of writing for others. In what ways will I lose myself to in attempt to meet deadlines, drive sales or present a pre-scribed script? In the meantime, I sit to write – for me.

I attended a school event on Friday. It was the first time that I’d seen my classmates dressed in formal wear. As we greeted each other with warmth, I am sure that we also brought much surprise to the occasion: wow, this is what you look like with full make-up, in a suit, in a gown etc. It allowed me to view them, and them me, in a different light. On the next day a classmate texted this to me: “Sabrina, you were so beautiful last night, a vision of love and wholeness. Self-care looks radiant on you, my friend. It’s so inspiring to behold. Thank you for shining brightly so that the rest of us want to do the same.” This message warmed my heart and I assured her that I would keep it.

A vision of love and wholeness. As I am constant driving to be well in all areas of my life, I pause tonight to ask what does it mean to be whole? To be well? When I created Crazy, Sexy Wellness it was out of the awareness that being well is so much more than exercise and diet. What areas of my life have I near-mastered being well and what areas do I continue to struggle in? In what ways do you foster your own wellness and wholeness? What sacrifices must be made during the process? What things are you willing to let go of to ensure that you remain well and whole? What people, i.e. relationships, will you allow to diminish if it means that you can become a little more whole?

As I continue to holding dear and pondering my classmate’s sentiments, I struggle even in this moment with my wellness and my wholeness. It is a constant journey that I embark upon each day. I am constantly making decisions about when, where and how I can and will navigate my wholeness. I promise myself to continue writing through it … writing to wellness. I like that.

 

A New Month … How Far Are You?

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I had such a wonderful time last night at a school event and I woke up today feeling refreshing, renewed and ready for March!!! Over the last few weeks, I have watched dream after dream come true for friends and associates: book deals, thriving businesses, admissions letters – including my own – to further graduation study . It has been a wonderful year thus far with an abundance of love, success in many areas as I still thumb my way through in others and an overflow of things to look forward to. As I thumbed through Facebook on a study break, I came across this post from a friend so on today I ask how is 2014 panning out for you? Do you remember your New Year resolutions? How are they going thus far? Have you reassessed your goals? Have you given up? Where do you stand – or sit – on March 1st, 2014? 

By the time the clock strikes 12:00AM on March 1, we would have spent 1416 hours of 2014 any which way we wanted to. Pause.

Do you feel great about how you’ve invested that much time? During an honest reflection can you see ways in which you have re-strategized and re-evaluated your efforts where necessary, or injected a new mindset where applicable? Is there a plan or are we just ‘winging’ it?

In a few blinks we will be mid-way what we’ve claimed as our best year yet and it most certainly can be with four simple words at the helm:

Get Real With Yourself.

10 Questions for Starters:

What is it you really want to do and what have you fed yourself as the reason why it will not, might not, more than likely not happen for you? Before moving forward rinse your thoughts of that thinking and know this to be very true: all things are working together for you — often not on your timeline or in line with your plan, but everything — even poor thinking attracts things into your life.

Are you following your own dreams or what others suggested you should pursue? The only thing that compares to following a dream someone else fed you, is working towards a dream based primarily on artificial rewards versus the things you’re truly passionate about. That lingering void will still exist long after the glitz and glam has faded. Every dream simply wants to be born. Don’t cheat yourself.

What is your problem resolution process? Simply put, things will go against our expectations, how we deal with them determines how we move forward or not. Still stuck on a few things that did not go as planned? You’re here in this time, let go of it, and decide to move completely forward. Whining, rehearsing, mourning what hasn’t happened {yet} will ironically create a domino effect of other delays. Be in this moment. Stay open.

Fear aside, who are 5 people you admire and would love to meet with to pick their brain during coffee talk or e-convo? Now muscle up the courage to connect and take the leap to speak about your dreams and your fears with people who for whatever the reason have your attention. You are going to blow your own mind… and theirs. You will be surprised.

If someone asked you today, “who are you” What would your honest response be? Life challenges us with that question daily. Are we really showing up or not?

What are something’s you think about doing personally or professionally but have not moved forward in action? Promise yourself to do one small thing each day that scares you just a wee bit. It could be anything from having a career chat with your superior to sharing your fears openly with a friend. Little things add courage and rich experiences to your life. As I often say, exposure is your friend. Being free, your bestie.

Have you given yourself a pass and made others accountable for where you are in your life? Perhaps kept yourself stuck in what someone else did, did not do, or said about you? Once we get real with the role we have played it frees us from anger and offers experiences from which learning takes place. Own your life story and know whenever you decide to write future chapters another way, the blank sheets of paper are waiting for you.

Who and what belongs in your life during this season? Just like biting into a green fruit or an overly ripe one leaves a bad taste in your mouth, similarly things and people being out of season in your life is not a pleasant experience. It’s just not quite right. Resist the urge to hold on to what or who your intuition told you to let go of. Rest in the truth that never leads you astray.

Does how you feel take the leading role in how you manage this business we call life? Those who accomplish much work through moments when they didn’t ‘feel’ like it because of their hunger for their dreams. When we take action only when we feel like it, we will look back at our days and see clearly it wasn’t someone else who stopped us from accomplishing our dreams, but rather our emotions that stood in the way.

Are you being fair to yourself by being your only measurement stick or do you find your thoughts whisperings saying things such as “you’re not as smart as; as pretty as; as talented as; as good at_____ as…” and on and on that goes. So often, we deny ourselves our uniqueness by being engulfed by someone else’s gifts. In so doing we run the risk of trying to emulate them instead of being kind to ourselves and acknowledging our marvelous selves. Reserve the right to be yourself. 

Bonus: So, what are you going to do with your time?

Let 2014 be the year we can truthfully say I gave life — all parts of it, everything I had.

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