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Out with the Old, In with the New

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I thought the New Year would begin without me posting some mushy end of the year reflection. But what do you know … here I am writing what I think is my last post for 2012. I have been thinking about this post for a few days now and am pretty excited about my recap; I hope you’ll enjoy it just as much. So here we go … what I learned (and hope to retain) from 2012:

–  When you love … if you love: love deeply, freely and wholeheartedly. Otherwise, don’t waste your time

–  Some doors need to remain closed – no matter how badly you feel compelled to re-open them

– Accolades and affirmations from others are great, but at some point deep inside you have to believe in your own greatness. Your own Beauty. Your own unique and special self – no one can deliver this to you

–  Life will deal some hard blows, but it’s the bounce back affect that counts

– Never, ever dim your light for  someone who is too insecure to let theirs shine***

– Its okay to love people from afar; to say “yes, I love you, but you don’t deserve a front row seat in my life”

– And it’s okay to allow relationships to shift … friends today, associates tomorrow, best buds next year 😉

– A true friend doesn’t need all the details, listens with an open heart and at some point finds a way to say “I support you in whatever you decide” even if it’s different from their own values or life choices

– Consultations are great, but YOU have to live with the consequences of your actions

– LOVE is the best medicine.

– Never, ever stop discovering your authentic you … who you truly are deep inside without everyone’s opinions and expectations. And be open to expressing that YOU at all costs ….

For me 2013 is about being true to me and who I am … without great regard for other’s boxes or limitations of who I should be. It is about freely existing within ALL of me.

Thank you for supporting Carter’s Corner … Happy New Year!!!

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New Year … New Life … New Me

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And here is post #2 of 3 …

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Countdown to New Year …

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As I prepare to craft my final post of this year/first post of 2013, I came across two quotes that do an excellent job of summing of my thoughts about this year and all that is to come. Here is quote #1:

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Celebrations and Broken Hearts

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Broken Heart

Today is December 18th … a date that I will never forget. It is the birthday of two very special people in my life, marks the official due date of my last final and this time last year I was hospitalized for what would become #1 of 4 over the course of the next 6 weeks. So on today, I think of celebrations … celebrating the birthdays of my friend and cousin; celebrating the end of my first semester in school; celebrating reprieve and rest!!! But I also think of sorrow and sadness … of just how quickly things in life can change. I write this as the tragedy in Newtown is still very fresh in the minds and hearts of this country and I’m reminded of what a difference a day makes. So this is post is just me saying to you that this is YOUR life … make it count.

My first semester back in school started out a little nerve-wrecking: 5 classes, one part time job, a very part time research assistant position and LIFE. What in the world was I thinking??? BUT it will easily go down in history as one of the most impactful semesters I have had thus far. My classes all seemed to mesh and be just on time for what I was experiencing in my life. I seemed to be in just the right places for just the right conversations at just the right times – a constant reminder that I’d make the right choice. Therefore, I close the semester fatigued – yes :-)! – but with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and accomplishment. I made it!!!

And now it’s on to finding a healthy place to continue to process and heal from the events of last December and January. I hate that something that happened a year ago could feel so fresh in my heart and still hurt so much. At the same time, I am encouraged and determined to see the beauty and blessings in all things. I am reminded that life will throw some hard punches … hearts will be broken … shit will happen, but we have to pick ourselves up and find a way to move on. This is not to ignore giving credence to taking time to heal, acknowledging the pain or even in very practical terms: getting some professional help. But this is to say that I have decided to press through the pain; pick up my hurt and try to use it as inspiration; as someone told me: see even the tiny blessings in all things. So on today I celebrate and I cry … and I am okay with that. This is my life and I will work to make it count … even through the pain.

Spaces of Vulnerability

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A classmate shared this video today. So much of it resonated with me and struck me at my very core … wanted to share. Enjoy!

Sacred Spaces

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Last week I posted two – of many random and not so random – things on Facebook. One is this video/song by India Arie and the other is my own little words of encouragement for the day.

 

Words of Encouragement: No victims … At any time you can decide this is not the life I signed up for … Not what I envisioned … Not my happy place … and work earnestly to shift gears and change directions!!!! #ichoose

In preparation for a school project, a classmate and I visited a church today. This was the first time in my life that I experienced the things I did in a church. The music, the dance, the rituals, the wardrobe, the congregants … all things sacred, special and true to me in one place. But the most profound part of the service for me was the story of an encounter with a homeless man told by one of the ministers, followed by an invitation for the man to sing a song. He sung “I Won’t Complain.” As he sang and as I cried the way I knew I needed to on this day, I thought of many, many things. My mind meditated on how the ministers in this church did what many are afraid and/to unwilling to do” reach out to those who we consider to be so unlike us. My thoughts ventured to this man with this amazing voice singing in church when he’d spent so many previous mornings sleeping outside. And I thought about the power of community, healing and hope.

I didn’t go to this church today expecting much other than to complete a part of my class assignment. But what I gained and what I experienced was so much more than I could have ever imagined and everything that I needed. All of this is not by chance. As I looked at the man singing today I knew that in him I reside, and in me he resides … we are all connected. And even in attending church today, decisions I’ve made this year and even how I am choosing to spend the rest of my day I am continually reminded that:  At any time you can decide this is not the life I signed up for … Not what I envisioned … Not my happy place … and work earnestly to shift gears and change directions. We are very well aware that we have little choice in what circumstances are presented to us in life, but we ALWAYS have a choice in how we choose to respond. Sometimes we find excuses – children, partners, spouses, time, money, resources – to prolong becoming we know we are destined to become or to delay doing the things we long to do, but today I was reminded that there is always an agency of choice in my life. I can and will choose life. I choose joy. I choose service. I choose sacred relationships. I choose happiness. I choose to bounce back. I choose not to play the victim. I choose to persevere  I choose to celebrate. I choose to FORGIVE. I choose SACRED, AFFIRMING SPACES that honor who I am and all that I am to become. I choose …

 

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